Playing Defense

I received an interesting email recently that read as follows.

What's a frum girl doing as the sole frum girl on a secular college campus? As the father of two teen aged girls, neither I nor they would consider such an environment as proper for a Bas Torah. Two graduate students from MIT and Harvard, who have MO , as opposed to Charedi backgrounds, advised MO parents to not let their kids attend or dorm at out of town schools such as the Ivies because of the atmosphere of pritzus, drug use, post modernism and PC attacks on Israel. Based upon my own research, even schools such as Barnard and Queens have their problems, as opposed to either Stern or Touro. Chazal warn us not to walk into a physically dangerous atmosphere. The Baalei Mussar and Chasidus also urge us not to walk into a spiritually dangerous environment.

My response:

I actually heard Gil Perl speak many moons before he circulated the now famous pamphlet—and believe it or not I agreed with most of what he said. Most, with one caveat. For 11 out of 12 Jews, secular college will be detrimental to their religious development. For 1 out of 12 Jews, however, it will actually spur their religious development. These are not my words, but those of my mechanech in Michlalah*. (It’s actually based on a larger inyan of the Yehudah/Yosef schism. In short, Yosef would not have become Yosef haTzaddik had he not been in Mitzrayim. He, however, is not representative of the majority of Jews, etc). There is no doubt in my mind that I would not be as committed to Judaism as I am had I not attended a secular university. Would I encourage all 16- year-old girls to leave Bais Yaakov early and enroll in a secular university? Certainly Not. Do I think it is the best place for me? Absolutely! And if you read the pamphlet carefully you’ll notice that it doesn’t say you shouldn't send your kids to secular college, it just says you should know your kids.

As for Stern: It was with the guidance of my teachers at Bais Yaakov that I opted not to go to there. As they will tell you, you’re deluding yourself if you think all is perfect and dandy in Stern. Many girls are better off in a secular environment. True, in both Stern and secular college you are likely to encounter apikorsus, pritzus, etc. But it’s one thing when your goyish professor who lives a clearly hedonistic life states something heretical and a completely different thing when a man adorned with a yarmulke peppers his teachings with heresy. Believe you me, improper clothing seems more acceptable when it’s being worn by you fellow frum Jew than by your non-Jewish peers. In secular college, things are often more black-and-white and it is easier to distinguish wrong from right. In Stern, there are many shades of gray.**

I apologize for my strong tone, but I’m tired of being accused of either being ignorant of the reality on college campuses or apathetic toward my religious identity. Quite frankly, I don’t think I’m guilty of either. Would I lobby you to send your children to my school? No. Would I ask you to look a little deeper before you judge me? I don’t think that’s being unreasonable.

* I went to seminary after a year in college.
** I am by no means condemning Stern. Many of my very religious friends attend SCW and I do believe it is a fine institution. However, it is not the utopian school it is made out to be, and it certainly is not ideal for everyone.