Say It's Your Birthday

Happy Birthday, Eli7! In honor of this momentous occasion, I shall grant you 24 hours to quote Nietzsche to your heart’s content. Enjoy!

Back to Being a Dork

As previously warned, I may fall off the face of the Olam HaBlog once school kicks into high gear. Classes start Wednesday; wish me luck. In addition to taking Algorithms, Software Engineering, and a 300-level databases course all in one semester, I may burden myself further with the following:

1—SI* leader for CS116: Intro to CS (read: Java 101). This option is the least time consuming and earns brownie points with Zimmerman, my CS rebbe. However, I believe it pays the least.

2—Student Grader for Calculus. I would earn even more brownie points with Tutinas. I graded her Discrete Math class last semester and she’s been twisting my arm about grading Calculus for her this semester. (Discrete in only offered in Spring, otherwise there wouldn’t be a shayla) I would be putting a significant amount of time into this, but would be paid accordingly. Technically, I can grade any 100-level Math course, but Calc is more chashuv.

3—Website Coordinator Intern. This is the only position I’m considering in which I would not be directly working for the Math/CS department. Translation: No potential brownie points. It’s also the only position where I would actually have to apply. However, I would be working for the American College Personnel Association. This job comes complete with the most obligations, but may be the most chashuv as well. Since I can spread out my tasks over the entire academic year, it *might* be less time-consuming than grading. And I would be rewarded much more handsomely for my efforts.

Theoretically, I can do any possible combination of the above jobs. However, I am trying to factor sleep into the equation. Taking off for Yom Tov complicates matters as well. Hmm…decisions, decisions….As always, suggestions/comments welcome.

* Supplemental Instruction for those not familiar with the lingo. It’s similar to TA’ing, with less responsibility

Blog Thine Rabbi

“In the end, it all comes down to priorities.” Those were the opening remarks of R’ Gottlieb drasha today. According to polls just released this week, a mere 15% of Jews said that their make-it-or-break-it issue would be the safety and security of the State of Israel. (I’m going to assume EphShap doesn’t read my site since I don’t wish to elicit his ire. No need to start a flame war during Elul.) Healthcare, Social Security, and defense against terrorism, all ranked higher. “We’re really a people of talk,” he said much to his dismay. Putting Israel first is just an abstract ideal. We all talk about which candidate would be best for Israel, etc we don’t translate our words into actions in the voting booth.

He tied his thoughts on the upcoming election into פרשת כי תצא:

לא יבוא עמוני ומואבי, בקהל ה': גם דור עשירי לא יבוא להם בקהל ה' עד עולם. על דבר אשר לא קידמו אתכם בלחם ובמים בדרך בצאתכם ממצריים; ואשר שכר עליך את בלעם בן בעור מפתור ארם נהריים לקללך

It seems that the primary reason the Moavim and Amonim cannot enter the Jewish nation is because they didn’t come to greet us with food and drink when we were leaving Egypt. Let’s think about this for a minute—we were an entire nation. Can you imagine the tremendous cost of feeding millions of people? We’re going to fault them for not going out of their way to be kind to us? For that we will never let them become Jewish? So they won’t be the heads of the chessed committees, but does that bar them from becoming part of us? And then, almost as an afterthought, the כתוב mentions that these were the nations that hired Bilam to come and curse us. Doesn’t that seem like a much more pertinent reason. It’s like you’re trying to dissuade someone about a certain shidduch( there was an aufruf in shul so he was trying to keep with the *theme*) and you say, well, first of all, he jay-walks. And by the way, he once robbed a bank. מה פתאום?

I believe the answer he gave is from the Dubno Maggid. The second reason provided by the כתוב actually serves to elucidate the first one. When Balak hired Bilam to go curse the Jews, he said:

אל נא תימנע מהלוך אליי. כי-כבד אכבדך מאוד, וכול אשר תאמר אליי אעשה; ולכה-נא, קובה-לי את העם הזה

Basically, “Name the price, Bilam. We’re giving you a blank check.” Contrast this to the first scenario. When it comes to doing chessed, suddenly they don’t have the means. But when it comes to cursing the Jews, they will bend over backwards. Their priorities are utterly askew! Such actions indicate that their nature is diametrically opposed to that of Bnei Yisrael, who are intrinsically רחמנים בישנים וגומלי חסדים. Therefore, they can never become part of us.

Playing Defense

I received an interesting email recently that read as follows.

What's a frum girl doing as the sole frum girl on a secular college campus? As the father of two teen aged girls, neither I nor they would consider such an environment as proper for a Bas Torah. Two graduate students from MIT and Harvard, who have MO , as opposed to Charedi backgrounds, advised MO parents to not let their kids attend or dorm at out of town schools such as the Ivies because of the atmosphere of pritzus, drug use, post modernism and PC attacks on Israel. Based upon my own research, even schools such as Barnard and Queens have their problems, as opposed to either Stern or Touro. Chazal warn us not to walk into a physically dangerous atmosphere. The Baalei Mussar and Chasidus also urge us not to walk into a spiritually dangerous environment.

My response:

I actually heard Gil Perl speak many moons before he circulated the now famous pamphlet—and believe it or not I agreed with most of what he said. Most, with one caveat. For 11 out of 12 Jews, secular college will be detrimental to their religious development. For 1 out of 12 Jews, however, it will actually spur their religious development. These are not my words, but those of my mechanech in Michlalah*. (It’s actually based on a larger inyan of the Yehudah/Yosef schism. In short, Yosef would not have become Yosef haTzaddik had he not been in Mitzrayim. He, however, is not representative of the majority of Jews, etc). There is no doubt in my mind that I would not be as committed to Judaism as I am had I not attended a secular university. Would I encourage all 16- year-old girls to leave Bais Yaakov early and enroll in a secular university? Certainly Not. Do I think it is the best place for me? Absolutely! And if you read the pamphlet carefully you’ll notice that it doesn’t say you shouldn't send your kids to secular college, it just says you should know your kids.

As for Stern: It was with the guidance of my teachers at Bais Yaakov that I opted not to go to there. As they will tell you, you’re deluding yourself if you think all is perfect and dandy in Stern. Many girls are better off in a secular environment. True, in both Stern and secular college you are likely to encounter apikorsus, pritzus, etc. But it’s one thing when your goyish professor who lives a clearly hedonistic life states something heretical and a completely different thing when a man adorned with a yarmulke peppers his teachings with heresy. Believe you me, improper clothing seems more acceptable when it’s being worn by you fellow frum Jew than by your non-Jewish peers. In secular college, things are often more black-and-white and it is easier to distinguish wrong from right. In Stern, there are many shades of gray.**

I apologize for my strong tone, but I’m tired of being accused of either being ignorant of the reality on college campuses or apathetic toward my religious identity. Quite frankly, I don’t think I’m guilty of either. Would I lobby you to send your children to my school? No. Would I ask you to look a little deeper before you judge me? I don’t think that’s being unreasonable.

* I went to seminary after a year in college.
** I am by no means condemning Stern. Many of my very religious friends attend SCW and I do believe it is a fine institution. However, it is not the utopian school it is made out to be, and it certainly is not ideal for everyone.

A Word of Advice

Never ever get into a conversation with Schafer when you’re supposed to be watching a cake baking in the oven. Tis quite a risky move. Fortunately, the cake made it out of the oven unscathed.

I miss you so much, Schafer! Moooooooooo!

Let the Schepping Begin

The numbers are in. Total amount saved by buying all my textbooks from Half.com and Amazon Marketplace: $145.26. Guess I’m a good Jew after all…

A Fairy Tale Event

The wedding, for interested parties, was awesome. Setting: the Sheraton Meadowlands. The kallah enters the scene bedecked in a custom-made gown by Vera Wang. She can easily be mistaken for a princess in a fairy tale. The chosson comes to greet her and he is beaming. I eye my friends. Wide smiles spread across our faces simultaneously…

Since there was only a small Mich crew present, Gelman and I really had to step it up a notch. We both changed out of our 3-inch heels into flats for dancing (warranting much high-fiving), sparing our own feet and protecting our fellow dancers from stiletto stab wounds. We even chopped in a few rounds of the Mich *dance* (think Elimor & Rudman at chagigas..…ah, good times…). I must say, the wedding was a really nice reunion…and we all agreed that we wanted a similar such reunion in the near future ;-) No pressure gals, but weddings are *amazing* (yup, using a sem girl word..uh oh) I must say one of my favorite parts of the trip was synchronized teeth brushing with Laners…we thought it ought to be an Olympic sport. No doubt we’d win gold ;-)

Gone till November

Ok, not quite. I’m not pulling a Wycelf Jean by any means, but I will be out of commission for a little while. My family is making Shabbos Sheva Brochos for the Kleins and I’ve been busy cooking up a storm. Well, sort of—for important affairs, I’m often relegated to chopping vegetables and the like. Sunday morning I’m off to New York (a.k.a. “The EVIL City, ” right Eli7? ) I’ll keep my criticism to a minimum, if only for the reason that I know the more I vilify said place, the more likely I am to end up there. *shudder.* On the bright side, I’m “going up” for a friend’s wedding. (It’s my first Mich friend to get married…..) And, I’m staying with Laners!!!!!! What happens when two former roommates reunite? Pure mayhem. :-)

Sleep, Glorious Sleep

I guess they both had a rough day at the office and conked out during the commute home ;-)

The Mazik in Action

I think I can safely assume that a healthy percentage of parents might become livid if they discovered their child coloring with crayons in the bathtub. Not my sister--apparently she ran and got her camera.

The Veneer of Virtue

There’s an interesting discussion about discrepancies between a person’s mode of dress and his/her true inner character going on over at Stx’s blog. This is in response to Stx, who wrote “Devorah, can you post something here that might help us understand this? I know you have a good story about it...Not sure if it's sharable though.”

I’m not sure which story you’re referring to Stx, but I will relate the first one that comes to mind. Naturally, it took place at the Granit.

The Granit is quite a social scene. There was one boy in particular who quickly ascended the social strata. He was extremely outgoing and he made it his business to know everyone. Popular and talented, he always had a posse of girls around him. But once the teen years hit, he started veering off the beaten path and got himself into a wee bit of trouble. By tenth grade, he had been kicked out of quite a few high schools, his mildest offense being smoking. Drugs, alcohol, you name it. And he was as slick as they come, quite a smooth liar at times. One night in particular stands out in my mind. First his parents found drugs in his room and he argued that his little brother had framed him. Later that same evening, he got hold of a bottle of vodka. Suffice it to say that what ensued was, er, not pretty.)

His parents were at wit’s end. They sent him to Israel. He spent the summer at Ohr Somayach, and then started Elul zman in Ner Jake.

When he waltzed into the tea room Erev Pesach, I didn’t recognize him: white shirt, black pants, tzitzis hanging out, a large velvet yarmulke and briskers. It was a total 180 from the last itme I had seen him. No way, I thought. Not possible.

Many of my friends who had known him even longer than me were very skeptical to say the least. Did he really transform himself that quickly or was this all just a show? At first, my friends bit their tongues, but something just wasn’t right. Despite his new mode of dress, he was still talking to girls. A lot. Eventually, we confronted him. His response went something like this:

“I needed to make a statement; I needed people to immediately recognize that I changed, and am heading in a different direction. When girls I used to hang out with see me, I need them to hesitate before they try and touch me. I don’t want them to run and give me a hug. Since I’ve been back, I had a strong desire to attend a certain concert. But then I looked in the mirror. I saw the peyos and realized there’s no way I could show up there looking like this. And that stopped me from going.

“Listen, I’m constantly struggling with my yetzer hara. For all intensive purposes, I wasn’t frum for about 4 years. And yes, it’s hard to change. In the beginning of the year, I certainly was on Ben Yehudah every night. But I don’t do that anymore. And dressing like this prevents me from going back. It’s a constant reminder and it keeps me in line. So no, I’m not necessarily the person these clothes represent, but I’m trying to change that.”

I usually take everything he says with a grain of salt. But this time he seemed sincere. Stx, I hope this story sheds some light on the issue.

Buying a Ticket

Tom Friedman writes that he used to start all his lectures with following joke:

“Every Sabbath, Goldberg would go to synagogue and pray: ‘G-d, I have been a pious Jew all of my life. What would be so bad if I won the lottery?’ But the lottery would come and Goldberg wouldn’t win. This would go on week after week, month after month. Goldberg would go to synagogue, pray to the L-rd for deliverance, but the lottery would come and Goldberg wouldn’t win. Finally, one Sabbath, Goldberg couldn’t take it anymore. He wailed to the Heavens, ‘G-d I have been such a good Jew all of my life, what do I have to do to win the lottery?” And suddenly the heavens parted and the voice of G-d boomed out, 'Goldberg, give me a chance. Buy a ticket.’”

Sometimes all it takes is one insignificant action to help everything fall into place. In my case, it was a phone call.

It had been roughly 10 weeks before I decided to bite the bullet and just pick up the phone.

It all started on Memorial Day weekend. We had a dira reunion—perfect time to reinvigorate a somewhat neglected friendships. I abhor glass ceilings, especially ones that encase relationships. There was one I just could not ignore and attempted to shatter it, but only damaged the friendship in the process and erected more barriers. I didn’t know how to fix it, and I wasn’t so sure I wanted to either. I gave inertia the reigns and turned a blind eye as we drifted apart.

For weeks, I convinced myself that I would make amends via email. It would be less awkward, and I’d be able to choose my words very precisely. But it never ranked as numero uno on my priority list. I never entered it as a task in my Palm. Needless to say, I never got around to doing it.

Eventually, events surrounding a mutual friend compelled me to take action. I called to discuss said situation and just pretended that nothing had happened. And I hate doing that—I hate glossing over issues. It’s simply too incongruous with my modus operandi. I have both the blessing and the curse of being blunt, and often insist on discussing anything and everything. But that’s simply not possible in the context of this friendship. However, I decided not to discard a rewarding friendship just because it’s finite. In the short time since I made contact, I have since spoken to her numerous times. I’m happy to report I think I’ve almost regained all the ground that I lost. Almost. And all it took was a phone call.

Bocher Tov

I remember the scene. It was a dreary Sunday morning. Stx and I were hiding in the library, cutting second period as usual. While sprawled out on the makeshift couch, she posed a serious question about bechira—and I actually responded. Naturally, I forgot every word I uttered that day. But Stx didn’t.

את חטאי אני מזכיר היום

In his final words to our kvutzah, R’ Kermaier presented a practical approach to combating galus: I quickly jotted down something he said because it struck me at the time (paraphrased): “You have to constantly learn about emunah so it doesn’t atrophy.” I made a mental note to follow his advice.

But I never did.

R’ Kermaier's words echoed in my mind recently as I was learning “Sha'arei Orah” by Rav Avigdor Miller. While discussing the many merits of concentrating during davening, Rav Miller digresses a bit to mention the importance of emunah. He writes the following:

ואמנם ודאי בני ישרא-ל הם מאמינים, בני מאמינים, א"כ עדיין נראה כאילו מיותר
הוא להצריך לחשוב בעניני אמונה. אמנם קודם כל, צריך לדעת שעיקר החיוב של
אמונה הוא שיהי' יסודות האמונה מושרשים בכל לבבך, שיהיו קנוים לו כמציאות
ובהרגשה חושית ,וזה נקנה רק ע"י ריבוי ההתבוננות פעם, אחר פעם

The reason we are required to reflect on our faith is so that it can become rooted in our hearts to the point that it becomes a tangible reality. This level can only be acheived through constant rumination. Rav Miller continues by explaining that our environments today are not conducive to strengthening our faith. On the contrary, our world is permeated by doubt and we literally inhale heresy. Even those who are Shomrei Torah u’Mitzvos don’t necessarily speak about matters of faith, Olam Haba, etc. If we allow inertia to take hold of our minds, we will simply absorb the false ideas floating around our atmosphere.

I can’t ignore Rav Kermaier any longer. I don’t have enough emunah* and it’s about time I started correcting this flaw. Therefore, I ask that if you have learned any sefer that has bolstered your emunah, please recommend it to me. As they say, carpe diem….

*(To be more exact, according to R’ Copperman, I lack more in bitachon than in emunah, but most people are not precise about the terminology and I believe I would still use the same tactic for improvement.)

Dealing with Modernity

As I’ve said before, I’m smitten by Stx’s writing. This is certainly a worthwhile read.

Currently, I’m torn between two desires: To have Stx take over Artsrcoll and to have her as my kids’ high school teacher. Then again, knowing Stx, she might just be able to juggle both.

Auditing My Tears

Upon my mother’s insistence, I went to see The Notebook last night. She had seen it a while ago with her friends and they all thought it was one of the most beautiful movies they had ever scene. (They rated it a 5-tissue event.) The other two women that accompanied her have since gone back to see it, this time dragging their husbands along. (As of yet, my father has still been spared). When Newsweek referred to it as "this summer’s sleeper” two weeks ago, I finally acquiesced.

Scanning through the crowd, I noticed there was not one Y-chromosome in the audience. This can’t be a good sign, I thought. Well, as far as chic flicks go, this is certainly one of the better ones. But I didn’t cry. Not a tear. My mom called me as I was walking out of the theater. “Did you love it?” she asked. My tepid response blew her away. (It should be noted that my classmates lend no credence to my reviews of movies ever since I mentioned to them that I fell asleep during Lord of the Rings….)

But I did shed a few tears earlier in the day when I certainly wasn’t planning on doing so.

This past Shabbos was Eli Klein’s aufruf. His father has been my doctor since the day I was born. They have lived around the corner from me (across the street from my dentist :-) my entire life. My family, like countless others, has come to depend on him as both a doctor and a friend. He came over immediately one Sukkus when I wasn’t feeling well. And it was only a matter of moments from the time I found out my grandfather had passed away suddenly until Dr. Klein (with my dentist in tow) was at my house, helping my father make arrangements. With the birth of my sister’s twins 3 months prematurely, we have come to rely on him even more, for both his expertise and his reassurance.

In shul Shabbos morning, Dr. Klein approached the door of the women’s section and motioned for me to come outside. A quick glance around confirmed what I had suspected: his wife wasn’t there yet. I ran outside and he handed me a basket full of candy bags. “Can you take care of this for me?” he asked. It was the least I could do.

With the layning and other fanfare over, R’ Gottlieb got up to speak. He mentioned that when the Kleins first moved to Baltimore, a more established couple took them under their wings and really helped them settle into town By the time Eli’s bar mitzvah rolled around, the husband of this couple was too sick to attend and asked that it be recorded so he would be able to listen to it. That couple was the kallah’s grandparents. A little more than ten years later, Eli is marrying this man’s granddaughter. Sometimes, he said, Hashem pays back kindness in this world as well.

R’ Gottlieb then proceeded to describe the Kleins community involvement. Since he is a pediatrician and she is a child psychologist, both have been very involved in all the local day schools. They have been arch supporters of P’tach and other organizations. My eyes were a bit watery at this point, but I still maintained my composure. But not for long. He reminded everyone that the Klein’s will be making aliyah in a couple of weeks. The Kleins are an integral part of my community—and those are mighty big shoes to fill. And then came the clincher: R’ Gottlieb articulated exactly what I felt. “If not for the fact that they are leaving for Eretz Yisrael, I don’t think I would be able to cope with the loss.” Then I could hold back the tears no longer.

On a lighter note, it looks like I’m going to have to get a new doctor, one who probably doesn’t give out stickers and lollipops :-(

TV or Not TV

The Olam haBlog is buzzing. Now that so many others have put in their two cents on the issue, it’s time I took a stab at it. It seems like most of the discussion has been by people significantly older than me. Well, here’s the situation from a relatively *young* little twat like me.

Recently, while attempting to clean my room (now that’s what I’d call “Mission: Impossible”), I leafed through my middle school yearbook. Let’s just say that most of the girls who signed wrote one of the following things: “Matt rules and Leo drools!” or “Dawson’s Creek Rocks!” This was Bais Yaakov Middle School no less. Needless to say looking back, I wasn’t very impressed with myself.

It wasn’t until I got to college that I quit all my favorite show—because I realized it was such a waste of time. For the first time in my life, I actually had A LOT of work to do and just didn’t need the distraction. I still do watch some TV occasionally, including the news, but I no longer follow any show regularly.

I certainly commend those who have pulled the plug in their own homes. However, I get a bit annoyed when people use owning a TV as some sort of religious litmus test. Now in addition to asking what kind of tablecloth you use on Shabbos, the new standard seems to be whether or not you would watch TV. Now, I’ve certainly been posed sillier questions. But I guess I don’t consider it to be a “make-it-or-break-it” issue. Though I’m not intent on having a TV in my house, I wouldn’t nix a guy just because might want one. It just seems a bit too trivial.

But here’s the part that really got under my skin. A friend of mine told me that if you’re someone who’s not anti-TV, but could certainly live without one, you have to lie and say you wouldn’t allow a TV in your home under any circumstances, since the boys comparable to you are also instructed to lie. That’s how the game works, period. Sigh…

How Very Fortunate

Scrounging around the kitchen late at night often yields interesting finds. Like fortune cookies. Well, things are looking good my friends. The following was the fortune I received:

“A new voyage will fill your life with untold memories.”

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Could it be?

L'chvod Eli7

I may be politically conservative, but that doesn’t preclude me from laughing at Bush jokes. I admit, I’ve seen better…but this latest cartoon is still pretty good. Check it out.

Strike Two

I know, I know, second night in a row. Will go to sleep soon. Maybe. Let's just hope i don't end up wtih a chazakah.

My Thoughts Exactly

I may not be Baptist, but can I get a round of "Amen, sister!" for this one?

Well Whaddya Know

Guess who just got engaged…Yup, the gal I bumped into just last week at the pizza shop is currently starring in her own OS page. Mazal Tov!

Update: It appears she actually got engaged on Sunday, rendering the word "just" a bit inaccurate. I'd like to chalk this up to the fact that I've kicked my OS addiction, but such is not the case...halevi

Join the Revolution

Toggling through the radio stations while running some errands this afternoon, I heard a lovely guitar riff that caught my ear. (I had to hold myself back from writing “that struck a chord in me…” ;-) Just my luck, I thought, the song is winding down. Well, on the contrary, I had just picked up a live jam session with O.A.R. on DC101. After they wrapped up the song that originallyl,ured me in, they gave a short interview and then played another song. Not bad. Not bad at all. I kept thinking, I know I haven’t heard their music before, but I'm sure I've heard their name before...

Then it hit me

PSA

Just got an email informing me that R’ Yehoshua Hartman will be speaking at Aish Kodesh in Woodmere (MoChassid’s shul), on Monday evening, August 16 at 8:10 p.m. (following Mincha/Maariv). His topic will be "The World of Agadita in the Eyes of the Maharal." Those of you who know me well may recall that when I was in Israel, my motto very well could have been “A R’ Hartman shiur a day keeps me on my way..” considering the fact that I took every single class he offered. :-) Sadly, I doubt I’ll be in attendance, but the question remains: will MoChassid be present??

Oh Sleep, Where Art Thou

"Why am I still up?!?" you ask. No, it has nothing to do with downing too many cups of a certain powerful beverage. One of my best friends decided to fly half way across the world to spend 2 months in Israel, and it just so happens that she’s on IM at this time of day. Really, it’s not my fault….

Keeping Tabs

I knew he’d be there :-)

*Coincidentally*, I met the happy couple many moons ago. As usual, I was at my cousin’s house for Shabbos. Being that it was June, both Havi and Elichai had come to Israel to learn in their time off—he in Gush, she in Migdal Oz (letting the awwww’ing begin). As Maish’s daughter put it, “a talmid and his girlfriend are coming for lunch...” By then, I had come to expect such surprises; during my first Shabbos in Alon Shvut, however, I was a bit taken aback. Most of the yeshivas I was familiar with at that point in my life frowned upon any interaction with the female race. Many boot boys suspected of having girlfriends (well, at least officially). When R’ Sosevsky came to speak to us at Michlalah, he insisted that the policy in OJ is that one cannot be associated in any way with a member of the opposite gender. Well, ahem, we all know how strictly that rule is enforced…… (He also made some cracks about Mich girls who try to hide that “male voice on their voice mail”…) But it seemed to me that at Gush, no such policy existed…quite the opposite in fact. Suffice it to say that when I was there on Purim, Maish led his shiur in a comic round of “Our girlfriends zachur la’tov.”

My point, and I do have one: Regardless of my opinion on whether or not boys and girls should mix (and YES I do have a tendency to flip-flop on this issue…too many liberal influences in my life…cough :: Eli7 :: cough…), I would like to chime in on the discussion and state that I agree that it can be very beneficial for a bochur to be able to converse with his Rebbe about gemara AND girls...(oh yeah, and sports too ;-)

Quiz Results

What Kind of Geek are You?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Your IQ is	frighteningly high
You are a	word nerd
Your strength is	you never need to sleep
Your weakness is	chocolate
You think normal people are	interesting
Normal people think that you are	satanic

Caught in the Crosshairs

One day when I’m rich and famous and the publishing companies come knocking at my door offering me million dollar contracts for my autobiography, I have no doubt what I’ll title it: “Splinters: A Lifetime of Straddling the Fences” (although apparently the innocent use of colons can really tick people off. I’ve considered various permutations, such as “Splinters: A Religious Odyssey,” etc.) I’ve masqueraded as a member of both the MO and Yeshivish worlds at some time or another, always wandering back to the No Man’s Land that lies in between. And from my vantage point perched atop the metaphoric fence, I can verify that “across-the-board stereotypes…have become anachronisms.” Its true—the border has certainly blurred.

Bottom Line: Although I’m a rather stubborn fence squatter, if ever a strong gust of wind would blow me off my post, I know exactly where I’d land. And I doubt it would raise *too* many eyebrows. For now I’ll stay put and yell “touché” whenever I deem appropriate.

Benedict Arnold in Stilettos

I’m a traitor. For years I have derided my peers for masochistically donning high heels. Alas, I too have succumbed. While shopping in the mall, these shoes caught my eye. I tried them on. The infatuation was instant. I had to buy them—and I did. Have I completely betrayed my tomboy beginnings?

(Eli7—you should have plenty of ammo by now…)

A Fitting Farewell

I’ve been gone less than two days and I miss it already. I miss my roommates: Schafer, Nat, Rachel…. but with Schafer heading off to Cornell on Monday and Rachel starting Avodah in a matter of weeks, I know the apartment with the roommates I have grown to love can no longer be. “Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all too well..”

Yaaaaaaaaaawn

To my loyal friends who have tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to teach me how to hang-up the phone: Please note that I am not the only one with this idiosyncrasy as even those older and wiser suffer the same.

Model of Efficiency

I hear you laughing, Eli7, and rightfully so perhaps. FYI, I finished packing. Sweet.

Midnight Madness

I’m moving out of my beloved apartment tomorrow (in a matter of hours actually, seeing as how it's tomorrow already). Apparently sane people start packing before the clock strikes midnight (This according to my friends who have had their brushes with sanity…I, on the other hand, have never been accused of such…) I would simply stay up all night, but I’m speaking tomorrow and I haven’t exactly, um, rehearsed yet. Uh oh. At least I can rest assured that practicing won’t make my engineering research much more palatable…

Life Lessons

As part of my summer program, I had to endure an afternoon with Lockheed Martin. Fortunately, I wasn’t seated *too* far away from one of my friends, so we started *passing* notes (read: engineers build mighty nice paper airplanes ;-) The discussion turned toward the party on the previous Friday night which I avoided by escaping home for Shabbos. Excerpts:
30 beers
½ gallon of punch
bottle of wine
+ 15 people
-------------------------
fun for everyone

Sounds like fun, right? Well, midway through the event my friend remembered the klal that “ wine + liquor = BAD..” Now, I’ve lived through enough traumatic Purims to know that mixing drinks is a sure way to make you sick. Well, I used the ol’ “I don’t drink and I know that. Boo-ya!” shtuch. Well, my friend decided to enlighten me further:

“Well, it’s actually the order that matters:
Liquor before beer—you’re in the clear
Beer before liquor—makes you sicker”

You learn something new everyday, I guess….

Delightful Dining

Last night, I ventured to Sienna’s Pizzeria in Rockville with my research team. After quickly scanning the crowd, I mentioned to one of my “co-workers” how strange it was for me to go to a kosher restaurant and not know anyone, (this being a rare occurrence.) A few moments after the words escaped my lips, I spotted a guy who looked a bit out of place. Dressed in a nice suit and sporting a large velvet yarmulke and thick briskers, he stood in stark contrast to the rest of the, er, more *modern* crowd. Then it hit me—shidduch date. Scurrying past his table to fill my soda, I realized he happened to be sitting with a girl from my high school class. Weird. I couldn’t help but smirk when I noticed them eating their pizza with forks and knives. If Seinfeld could see them now… (I started wondering what was funnier: Watching them or thinking about one of my friends who ate sushi with a fork and knife since she was on a date. Hmm…toss up.)Let’s summarize here: they drove at least an hour and a half out of Baltimore into the middle of nowhere (Rockville: perfect for the modern Stone Age family) in search of some place where they’d go undetected…only to run into little ol’ me…Don’t worry, I behaved and kept my distance. It wasn’t till they were on their way out that she actually acknowledged me. Naturally, no outing with a secular group can conclude without a round of amusing questions: Last night’s included: “Deborah, do you also have to wear such fancy clothes to go to a pizza shop with a guy?” I was tempted to say. “Well, it depends on your circles..” I decided a simple “No” would suffice.

Turning My Back on Java

Hmm..you’d think writing personal tidbits would garner more comments. But no, a dry little piece about my annoyance at an indefatigable NullPointerException has thus far best succeeded in earning its keep. Surprise, Surprise.… Well in deference to my loyal readers, I will relate the outcome of round 2. In the spirit of full disclosure, I must admit that I got so fed up with evil Tomcat, JSP, etc that I turned my back on my beloved Java and rewrote everything in ASP. (FYI, I had already tried both tactics suggested in the comments section to no avail. I did nonetheless appreciate the effort of those who tried to help. :-) Lo and behold, after just some mild tweaking, I had a working web-survey!! Now, onto the hard part…

Wishing I was Tired

Decided to check out the nearby Shopper’s seeing as how it was close to four in the afternoon and I hadn’t eaten lunch. (And stumbling into a hungry Jew is NOT a pleasant encounter ;-) It was there that I chanced upon one of my favorite my caffeine fixes: “Cappuccino Coolers.” I'm not a big coffee fan (read: Even with countless spoonfuls of sugar I can barely choke it down in times of desperate need); however, I quite enjoy this glorious stuff and depended on it to keep me awake during "CS325: Compiler Design" which was sadistically taught at 8:30 am. I’m currently on my second cup. Better cancel those plans to go to sleep early…

The Other Benefit of a Balcony

I have a newfound appreciation for shuls with balconies for women. Despite the fact that I’m the youngest grandchild and have attended a plethora of aufrufs, I have never been to one at a shul with said feature. Well, let me tell you, it’s a whole different experience. Never have I had such a clear shot at the chosson (not to disparage my aim or anything). Fortunately, the chosson’s black hat made a pretty good helmet because he sure was pelted with *soft* candy!!! Ah, brings back fond memories of my friend’s older brother’s aufruf. Trust me when I say I had a lot of kavanah while throwing those candy bags.(This one is for stopping short on the ski slopes and spraying me with snow…This one is for pulling my hair…etc, etc…) However, not all of the 5+ candy bags I hailed in his direction hit him head on. Now if my shul had had a balcony…Just think of the possibilities….

Ambushed

After spending about a decade at Camp Shalom, I know a lot of people in Silver Spring (note the spelling), even though I’m verifiably not a native. Since I couldn’t go home this Shabbos, I opted for Kemp Mill, since it’s not terribly far. As I strolled into shul *early* Shabbos morning, I heard a male voice jibe, “Don’t say ‘Good Shabbos’ to me, Devorah.” Oh G-d, not now….